Sunday, August 1, 2010

Sunday morning musings.

Hello there, dear blogging world that I have forsaken for three months. Three months of upheaval and chaos. Three months of determination and transformation. Three months of.... life.

Life. You funny little idiom of existence. When life throws her arms around you, smothering you with her madness and delusion, you either learn to A). embrace it or B). run like hell from it. You ask, which of the given choices I submitted to? In order to better answer that question, I will revert to the wise musings of Homer J. Simpson: "A little from column A, a little from column B." (Who says The Simpson's aren't applicable to everyday life?!) So here I sit, 1/4 of a year spent running like a mad woman away from the rigors of the world then, just as abruptly, throwing myself into Life's arms, fully giving into her whims and aspirations. Life you tricky tricky creature you.

In those endlessly short three months, I have discovered my perfect trifecta for pursuing life in a way indicative of passion and virtue: transparency, transformation, and tenacity. The willingness to remain transparent to the ones who love and protect your being. The ability to transform and adapt to/for situations/people, allowing oneself to learn and grow from experience. And the tenacity to not let circumstances define you but to allow yourself to define your circumstances. Though the past year has held much of the unenjoyable and at times the unbelievable, with those three small words of declaration, I stand here now striving to be that empty vessel that is filled up by the life-giving and not being drained by the vampires of this material world. Or as past circumstances have dictated, not running from those said life-suckers.

Here I end with one closing thought that both surmises the past few months and (hopefully) defines times to come: Do I want to spend my existence running from that which is overwhelming or, instead, running towards my fears, embracing them and in turn, transforming them and myself with courage and perseverance? This answer is much more aptly chosen than Homer's. I choose courage. I choose perseverance. I choose to spend my days not just existing but thriving.

Bring it, Life.